The Pattern I Didn’t Need to Perfect

If you’ve ever unraveled over to-do lists and real life — relatable.

You ever have one of those dreams where you forget the most basic thing?

Like: no chairs at your event.

Just a room full of people standing. Watching and waiting.

And you’re frozen tragically realizing that it’s your job to fix it.

I have had that dream.

And I know that it wasn’t just a dream about logistics. Not really.

After the dream, I spent the next few months overcompensating. I spent every spare minute event planning. Lists. Calendars. Color-coded task boards. I convinced myself and my team that if we could stay perfectly organized and follow our plans, all would be okay.

Sure, part of me laughed it off. Told myself: just don’t forget chairs.

But another part of me kept wondering: What if this dream means that I’m just not good enough? That if I miss even one detail, the whole thing will fall apart. And worse, that everyone will see it.

I had planned my very first maker meetup in 2016: a full weekend business networking and conferencing event for knitters and crocheters in downtown Manhattan called Our Maker Life.

It wasn’t just a small gathering. It was a launch. A leap. A vision I had created with fellow friends with hope and energy. It was incredibly fun and when we asked 40 attendees what they’d want to see in the next one, they said more makers.

Chair fear dream came with planning that second event.

For me, I mapped each detail and space, the timeline, multiple outcomes. It all mattered.

For you, maybe it isn’t a chair dream or event woes. Maybe it is another weekend moment or big dream that you’ve been stalling and sitting on…or alternatively working, and working, and working towards.

You find yourself believing that if you get it all right, then fear won’t cast onto you. That it’s necessary to create and hold on tightly because the alternative isn’t as dreamy, maybe not even optional.

Also, this is me realizing

Because the moment the alternative actually happens, you unravel like tangled yarn.

I’m a knitter that totally gets that.

I’ve been there and I know exactly why.